When I was young, I would write every day, for an hour or more. I’d come home from school and whatever else I was doing – theater or dance practice, seeing friends, etc. – and I’d sit at the computer and do a big brain-dump. I’d write about anything I wanted. Sometimes it was poetry and stories, but most of the time it was pure journal, stream of consciousness or well-crafted sentences depending on the day, but it was my emotional and creative outlet. I’d get everything down about the day that I needed to vent about or wanted to preserve for later. Good and bad.
Now, I thank my younger self for all of that writing. I can go back and look at the thousands of words I wrote and remember exactly what it was like to be 14, or 15, or 18. Most people don’t have this. My memory isn’t the best, so it’s especially delightful to be able to relive happy moments in extreme detail. Thanks, former self, for thinking of me like that.
I work in marketing now. I write a lot of words every day, in the form of emails, notes, research, blogs, longer articles and social media postings. I do it for myself, to keep in touch with people, but mostly I do it for my job, because content marketing is a cruel mistress and she demands to be fed all the time. Sometimes I feel supremely lucky that I get to do things I like and get paid: I research things that are interesting and I write and photoshop and tweet around them. And of course, sometimes I lie around consumed by depression and ennui and obsessing about how my career may have “taken” from me the things that were personal and dear to me – writing and making art.
I’m sure most creative marketing types who got in to the field because they were “creative” an “good at that sort of thing” have days like this.
Anyhow like many before me, I begin this blog by introducing myself and my desire to write again/more/better/differently. I’ve tried before, but this time is different.
This time I’m beginning a blog because I’d like a place to discuss polyamory. It seemed like a great idea when I was registering the domain, but now it actually feels a little bit scary. Still, I’d like to try, and I think I could use the space to do it. So, hello! And here is a new blog about my life, sort of, but mostly life and thoughts as they relate to poly. I make no promises about staying strictly on topic or posting on a schedule, because the one thing this blog will not be is a soulless content-marketing machine. For that, I get paid. This will just be for me, for fun, for now.